When Obama was elected, they painted your mom white, she opened her mouth and the whole family moved in.

When your mom falls, she creates mushroom clouds and puts them on her pizza.

The Grand Canyon tried to assassinate your mom’s butt crack to eliminate competition.

Your mom tried to be in Revenge of the Nerds, but the Omega Moo’s had no place for a manatee.

Your mom is so fat, that when I tried to paint her in Photoshop the program ran out of ink and memory.

Your mom sat on my oven, and when she stood up I had chocolate cake.

They tried to use your mom as whale bait, but she kept eating all the whales.

I played your mom in trivia once, but all the questions were about food so she won.

I tried to walk with your mom once, but all she did was sniff the fire hydrants.

I ordered a nacho supreme, so your mom shitted from her pussy then handed me a receipt.

I took a bus to visit the tuna factory, but it was just your mom on display in a glass cage.

I tried to go on a picnic once, but your mom ate Yogi and the basket.