Your mom cooked me a corn dog, but there wasn’t an oven in sight.

Your mom sat down on Facebook, and when she stood up there was a Farmville.

Your mom took a shit at my house, and when she left the plumber had an aneurysm.

Your mom drooled in her sleep, then Pakistan started flooding.

Your mom sat on Dakota, and when she stood up there was North and South.

Your naked mom sat on my hamburger, and when she stood up it was a cheeseburger.

Your mom sat on a rose, and when she stood up there was fertilizer.

Your mom sat on a quarter, and when she stood up there was two dimes, four pennies and a used tampon.

Your mom starred on Young and the Restless, and when she left it was Big Fat Loser season 7.

Your mom sat down on a gay man, and when she stood up he was still gay.

Your mom sat on my ice cream cone, and when she stood up it was a popsicle.

Your mom sat on my phone and when she stood up, Mel Gibson was yelling at me.