Mother Joker

Right on Time

mofo — Fri, 11 May 2012 02:19:56 +0000

I set my oven timer to 1 minute, and sure enough your mom came running.

mofo — Wed, 09 May 2012 03:18:29 +0000

Your mom thought she was dating a farmer, until he tried to milk her in the barn.

mofo — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 04:55:46 +0000

Your mom asked me to hold on, then she jumped into my arms and we crashed through the floor into someone else’s hotel room.

mofo — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 04:36:56 +0000

I was watching a documentary on retarded polar bears, then realized the TV was broken and your mom was just tying her shoes.

mofo — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 02:27:20 +0000

I bought a vacuum cleaner with 2-way suction, and your mom got really jealous.

mofo — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 04:53:24 +0000

Your mom sat on aluminum foil, and when she stood up there was a bag of Hershey’s Kisses.

mofo — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:41:36 +0000

Your mom screamed with joy, then I saw her Amazon order for a new waffle maker.

mofo — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 01:57:04 +0000

I thought I was looking at a horse’s asshole, but it was just your mom yawning.

motherjoker — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:36:49 +0000

When they filmed the movie We Bought a Zoo, they didn’t know your mom was included, too.

mofo — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 05:28:59 +0000

I tried to unzip your mom’s dress but I ended up in the basement.