I asked your mom how to get to Sesame Street, so she pulled down her panties and Grover popped his head out.

I caught your mom peeping through my window, so I ran outside and chased her away with lettuce and a diet bar.

Your mom walked up to the bus stop, so everyone started handing her bus fare and sitting on her.

I found a used, half-deflated blow-up sex doll in your mom’s bedroom, but I fucked it anyway. Then I realized it was your grandma.

I got horny the other night and closed my eyes to hump a bowl of prunes, when I opened my eyes your grandma was screaming.

Your mom went to Knott’s Berry Farm to sell her berries, but as soon as she bent over they shouted, “Dingle is not a berry!” and kicked her out.

I pried apart your mom’s butt cheeks with a crowbar, but then my hands slipped and the crowbar flew across the street and hit a cat.

The baboon at the zoo died just before opening day, so your mom colored her ass with crayons, climbed into the cage, and the zoo was saved.

Your mom snuck a meat salad into the clothing store and hid in the changing room. “Are you dressing?” the store manager called to her. “Oh yes,” she answered, “With Bleu Cheese!”

I bought a vacuum cleaner with 2-way suction, and your mom got really jealous.

I was watching a documentary on retarded polar bears, then realized the TV was broken and your mom was just tying her shoes.

When my brats need a little flavor, I rape your mom with them before putting them on the grill.