I walked into your mom’s bathroom and caught her peeing standing up.

They tried to make an iPhone app for your mom, but Apple doesn’t support sluts.

Your mom begged to blow me, so I shoved a trumpet in her ass and fed her beans.

Your mom saw Billy Joel in concert, and after that he never sang Innocent Man ever again.

Your mom said she wanted a Tumblr, so I pushed her down the stairs.

I had trouble getting up this morning, but I finally managed to roll out from underneath your mom.

When your mom hears my name, she thinks of balls and sore foreheads.

I read the story of Moses to your mom, so she said ”I can do that too” and spread her ass cheeks open, parting the way for Jews to pass through.

They thought Ray Charles was born blind, but he had seen your mom naked.

Your mom sent her resume to monster.com, and they hired her to terrorize Tokyo.

Your mom tried to set her pubic hair on fire but no one would give her a light.

I asked your mom to do the moonwalk, so she took off her panties and slid across the floor.