The military is studying your mom, so they can make a robot weapon with her hips of thunder.

I asked your mom how long she’s been studying at Whore School, but she said, “You don’t get it, I’m the teacher.”

When your mom sings karaoke, she always chooses Free Fallin’ except she sings Free Anal.

Your mom tried to hide among a herd of cows for science, and they accepted her instantly.

I thought your mom was wearing a new belt, but then she screamed, “Help, this hula hoop is stuck!”

When they filmed the movie We Bought a Zoo, they didn’t know your mom was included, too.

When God made your mom, He was taking a shit. That’s why.

Your mom sat down on a gay man, and when she stood up he was still gay.

A local rock band needed a new drummer. So, they had your mom go face down on the ground with her giant hairy ass facing the sky, and they tested out drummers.

Your mom sat on a rose, and when she stood up there was fertilizer.

I gave your mom a gentle push, then went and washed my finger.

I took a shit that looked just like the Virgin Mary. Your mom was there and I sold it to her for a million dollars.