I held down shutter to focus my camera on your mom’s ass, but it couldn’t decide which hole to focus on.

Your mom was walking down the street and heard a whistle, so she whipped her head around expecting a man checking her out, but it was just her vagina catching in the wind.

When I fix meals, your mom grips the bars of her prison cell so tight and roars in anticipation.

When they filmed the movie We Bought a Zoo, they didn’t know your mom was included, too.

Your mom drinks gravy like coffee.

Tiger Woods friended your mom on Facebook, so he could play her holes.

I took your mom out to eat at Arby’s and as we walked inside, a group of Hispanic men held out their plates under her vagina at the sight of roast beef.

I was at a train station and thought a locomotive was approaching, then I turned to see your mom walking slowly in my direction.

I laid a hot dog across your mom’s feet, she looked down drooling but couldn’t reach it.

Your mom walks by homeless hobos carrying buckets of chicken, and when they reach out begging for a spare wing she barks and snarls at the moon.

Deep down inside your mom, there’s mostly cooking utensils and rubber ducks.

After your mom drove back from McDonalds, there was a pounding sound then the Hamburgler climbed out of the trunk screaming.