When they filmed the movie We Bought a Zoo, they didn’t know your mom was included, too.

Your mom drinks gravy like coffee.

Tiger Woods friended your mom on Facebook, so he could play her holes.

I took your mom out to eat at Arby’s and as we walked inside, a group of Hispanic men held out their plates under her vagina at the sight of roast beef.

I was at a train station and thought a locomotive was approaching, then I turned to see your mom walking slowly in my direction.

I laid a hot dog across your mom’s feet, she looked down drooling but couldn’t reach it.

Your mom walks by homeless hobos carrying buckets of chicken, and when they reach out begging for a spare wing she barks and snarls at the moon.

Deep down inside your mom, there’s mostly cooking utensils and rubber ducks.

After your mom drove back from McDonalds, there was a pounding sound then the Hamburgler climbed out of the trunk screaming.

Your mom challenged Stephen Hawking to a game of trivia, but all he wanted to ask was how the black hole formed from her vaginal depths.

When your mom hears my name, she thinks of balls and sore foreheads.

Your mom wears a shirt that says ”Eyes Over There,” pointing completely away from her.