Your mom screamed with joy, then I saw her Amazon order for a new waffle maker.

I thought I was looking at a horse’s asshole, but it was just your mom yawning.

When they filmed the movie We Bought a Zoo, they didn’t know your mom was included, too.

I tried to unzip your mom’s dress but I ended up in the basement.

Your mom snuck a meat salad into the clothing store and hid in the changing room. “Are you dressing?” the store manager called to her. “Oh yes,” she answered, “With Bleu Cheese!”