I asked your mom what she would do for five bucks, and later that day a semi truck delivered a printout of everything.

Your mom dropped a plate of pancakes, and when she bent over, a herd of buffalo perked up and came running.

I pried apart your mom’s butt cheeks with a crowbar, but then my hands slipped and the crowbar flew across the street and hit a cat.

I thought the fan on my computer was broken, but it was just your mom bending over to touch her toes.

I was at a train station and thought a locomotive was approaching, then I turned to see your mom walking slowly in my direction.

I thought the building was falling over, but it was just your mom leaning in her chair, reaching for a slice of pizza.

Ugly.com called, asking for you mom, so I handed her the phone and she said yes to their offer.