I reported your mom to the Better Whore Bureau, but they just turned off all the lights and wouldn’t answer the door every time I knocked.

When your mom hears my name, she thinks of balls and sore foreheads.

When your mom goes to the airport, her vagina is counted as extra luggage.

I had trouble getting up this morning, but I finally managed to roll out from underneath your mom.

I thought I climbed Mt. Everest, then realized I was just standing on your mom’s shoulders.