Your mom wears a shirt that says ”Eyes Over There,” pointing completely away from her.

My plasma TV started to overheat, then I realized your mom was hiding behind it with an EZ Bake oven.

Whenever I want surround sound, I just have your mom stand behind my chair.

When I hear the words, “Buffalo Soldier” I think of two things: Your mom, and a soldier.

Your mom said she wanted a Tumblr, so I pushed her down the stairs.

I was watching the Super Bowl when your mom ran onto the field, but everyone just thought she was a player from the bench.

I have a photo of your mom hanging on the wall, and people always ask me, “What dog breed is that?”