Your mom drinks gravy like coffee.

I asked your mom why her mouth was open so wide, then remembered she was getting ready for work.

Your mom climbed up a ladder and everyone assumed they were filming King Kong.

If your mom went on a diet, half the grocery stores in town would go out of business.

I asked your mom if she likes PC or Mac, and she said Macaroni.

Tiger Woods friended your mom on Facebook, so he could play her holes.

Your mom tried to set her pubic hair on fire but no one would give her a light.

I took your mom out to eat at Arby’s and as we walked inside, a group of Hispanic men held out their plates under her vagina at the sight of roast beef.

I asked your mom what she would do for five bucks, and later that day a semi truck delivered a printout of everything.

Your mom dropped a plate of pancakes, and when she bent over, a herd of buffalo perked up and came running.

I pried apart your mom’s butt cheeks with a crowbar, but then my hands slipped and the crowbar flew across the street and hit a cat.

I thought the fan on my computer was broken, but it was just your mom bending over to touch her toes.