Your mom ordered some make-up and beauty cream, but when she opened the package it contained a paper bag with eye holes, and a note saying, “The only way.”

After your mom appeared on the TV news, they invented wide screen.

I was running on the treadmill when your mom tackled me, grabbing me inappropriately. I called Animal Control so it all worked out.

I was getting my shoes shined, then turned to the right and saw the shoe shine boy staring at me, so I apologized to your mom and let her stand up.

Your mom has to clean her pussy with a pick and axe because its like a dark cavern of lost hope and sharp stones.

I was stuffing the turkey, and my hand was all the way inside. But when I looked to the right, I saw the real turkey, so I apologized to your mom and let her stand up.

I woke up and thought I was paralyzed, but it was just your mom sitting on my legs.

Your mom tried to eat me out of a house and home, by eating my house and home.

Your mom sat on a caterpillar, and when she stood up a butterfly was born but it was too overweight to fly.

Your mom tried out for a Playboy spread, so they used Google Earth to get her best features.

I asked your mom if she’d ever seen The Neverending Story, so she started talking about her sex life.

Your mom sat on my head, and when she stood up I had a new wig.