“At the Crack of Dawn” means something different to your mom, which is why I’m always washing my hands when the rooster crows.

When your mom tried on a fur coat at the mall, everyone panicked and the manager called the zoo.

Your mom was in her towel when the floods came, but she saved the town by rolling in the streets.

I asked your mom to hold my cash, and later that day it was three times the cash because she’s a whore.

Your mom went for a walk in the woods and got lost, so I followed her pussy stench and found her in a cave eating a bear.

I took your mom to the Kentucky Derby, but they kicked her out for trying to mate with all the male horses.

Jenny Craig took one look at your mom, then ran screaming into a cupcake shop waving 20 dollar bills.

I asked your sister to stop having abortions, so I could make mom jokes about her.

If your mom’s pussy was stock, there’d be a Black Tuesday every week.

When your mom goes shopping, everyone automatically asks her, “Do you want fries with that?”

Your mom went to the hospital to deliver a baby and a healthy black boy was born, then your dad ran around the halls flipping off nurses and dancing with freedom.

I thought your mom gave me two hams for Christmas, but she was just walking around naked.